boy: haha, you’re really cute for a black girl ;)
me: thanks! you’re alright for a white boy ;D
boy: … that’s kind of a weird thing to say, but okay lol
dreams // fleetwood mac
thunder only happens when it’s raining
players only love you when they’re playing
Every night is getting worse. I’m not sure if it’s just this house, but I’m feeling more and more pushed out of my head and body. And I get so nervous and anxious when it gets closer to bed time, because I would do anything to avoid another uncomfortable restless night. Last night was particularly bad. Idk why, I had a good day and all. And I was exhausted, but as soon as I got into bed it’s like clockwork. I couldn’t stop the whimpering, the clutching on to things, twisting of my body, and before I knew it, I’m crying about nothing at all. Just the feeling.
So I got up, tidied a small bit of my room. Sprayed some scents but it was too much so I walked around my house. Took my dog in the backyard. Sat out there for a while. My crackhead neighbors were blasting early 90s rnb funk radio hits, the bad kinds, til all hours of the night. I decided I’d just watch on demand all night til I felt calm. Everything I wanted to watch had to be purchased so I looked for a movie instead, and it was totally meant to be bc black swan is finally on demand. So I watched that, and finally was relaxed enough to take myself to sleep around 2. Surprisingly my sleep went undisturbed, I don’t recall waking up again. But my dreams were strange and very heavy. But you win some you lose some. I woke up feeling out of my head, but I guess it’s a small price to pay.
Kate Moss in ‘Dans La Cite Des Anges’,French Glamour April 1992
I feel really good and all but I am feeling particularly chunky aka /fat/ today specifically. Might be partly the dehydration but now I’m just even more excited to move out and be too broke for food lol, especially bc my dad just came in and forced some fucking taquito he made on me D;
why can’t i look like this